Well I've been in Michigan for a while now. Things have been okay. Not exactly what I expected. Its all good though. Im really getting home sick though. Mike flew me to Corpus Christi, Texas last Sunday morning and the minute I stepped off the plane I thought of Pensacola. The towns are so alike. I immediately missed home. I just got back to Michigan early this morning and I already miss Mike and home.

I guess I should update on the things going on. Mike graduated primary flight school and is now in Corpus Christi for his advanced flight school. He got his dream job as a C-130 pilot so now he has to learn how to fly them. Im so excited that he practically won the lottery of flight school. Less than 50 flight students in the marines get to go to C-130 school every year. Its a dream job that only a few pilots ever get. The bad part is he will be in Texas until at least Christmas with his school. :( Its okay though because I am going on my last year of college. YAY! I am in the home stretch. After Mike gets winged he will have a few weeks in a survival training thing and then he will either be stationed in North Carolina (close to his home and family) or Miramar, California (near his older sister whom he is very close to). He wants California because he loves the west coast. We'll see how things go and take it day by day. It seems to have worked so far! He starts school in a week and is already excited.

I plan on leaving Michigan earlier than I expected because I need to really buckle down and make some money for school. Im taking 5 classes in the fall and its going to be a lot of hard work. I have a lot of support though, especially from Mike. "You are so close! Just stick it out and you will get done!" Mom and Dad are being really supportive too. When I get bogged down about school, they are always there to lift my chin up and tell me I can do it. The last year of my life has been really difficult. I think that since I survived it, I can survive anything.

I had a blast in Texas with Mike. I think our relationship really had the chance to grow. Sure we spent time together in Pensacola, but it was hard only seeing each other on weekends because of his rigorous school schedule. I think we got to talk about a lot of things that we havent been able to just sit down and stew over. We spent some time at the pool and I finally got to work on my tan. I hate to say it but, Michigan is hard on a beach girl. You never know what the weather is going to be like and its not like you can go lay out in the sun everyday. :( I got the chance to meet Mike's best friend who is also going to C-130 school. They've been friends for a while and never thought they would make it to advanced school together. Im so proud of him!!

Anyways, Im thinking about heading home Mid-July so that I can start working and save up for school. Im not doing cheerleading anymore because I feel like it is holding me back from graduating when I want. I just wont have the time to work and study if Im involved with the squad. I really want to get done with school so I can get a "real" job and start my life. Not that it hasnt started, but you know, get out in the world and have a career.

We'll see how everything goes..

Here are some pics of me and Mike the day I left Corpus. :(

So I made it to Michigan Monday morning around 2. Phoebe was relieved to be out of the car and so was I. All in all it was a good trip. Ethan didnt get rowdy until the end when he was really tired and wanted out of his seat. I miss Mike like crazy though. I really hope he gets the chance to come up here when he is on his break from school. Things are going good though. Im just relaxing right now. I plan on looking for a job in the next couple of days though. We'll see how that goes. Im just enjoying time with my sister and Ethan.

Well I've decided to move to Michigan for the summer, at least. I leave May 6th and I'm really excited about going. I'm going to take my cat Phoebe and its so funny because she has no clue about what to expect! Now I definitely have something to look forward to instead of another summer in Pensacola :)

When I told my mom and dad they were really supportive and Im glad that they told me I should go. I think they realize its time for to go out into the world and see what it has to offer me. :)

Well I need to get some sleep because I have exactly 3 weeks left of school and I need to get my head on straight and finish up this semester on a positive note so I can have a great summer!!

 OK.. I'm not basing my decision to go on my boyfriend Mike. The "crossroads" Im talking about in our relationship is... Is he willing to go the distance and continue a relationship over miles apart.. or should I say, "It was fun! But I'm skipping town!" I know we are going to have to sit down and talk about our feelings because we absolutely don't talk about them. And we've been together for almost 6 months. We just enjoy each others company when we are together. The past 24 hours I have been thinking a lot about going to Detroit. I'm definitely leaning that way. I even talked to my boss about taking a leave of absence for the summer.

I like to think I am an independent young woman who will not allow a man to dictate her life. But I really care about Mike, and I think if tell him how I feel and that I want to go, he will completely support me and hopefully want to continue a long distance relationship. :)

Here's hoping!

Johnny and Julie sat down with me the other night and invited me to live with them in their new house in Michigan. Of course I will be living in the basement apartment and paying rent. Its an absolutely awesome opportunity for at least the summer to work and save money for school. But they also talked about me transferring to a school in Detroit.

I think the only thing holding me back is change. I know its usually a good thing, but I will be leaving behind so much. For one, there is my parents. I know they depend on me sometimes. Then, there's Mike. I know when we started dating we talked about how flight school was his number one priority. I completely respect that and it has helped me think about my own priorities. I guess I'm just afraid that even though we usually only see each other on weekends as it is, if I move 15 hours away we won't see each other at all. Plus, Mike will be graduating primary this summer. He might be stationed in Mississippi or Texas. We would still be 12- 24 hours away from each other depending if he is stationed in Meridian, Mississippi; Pensacola, Florida; or Corpus Christi, Texas.

I know I should understand that everything happens for a reason and sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith. I guess I'm afraid if I do take this leap of faith, I will lose someone I really care about.

So, should I stay or should I go?

I talked to Mike about it, and he said I shouldn't base my decision on him. I knew he would say that. To be honest, I'm not basing my decision on him. Because I really think its a good idea and I would like to go. I guess I would just like to know how he really feels about me because then I will know how hard it will or will not be when I am away from him. I think I've come to a crossroads in my life and in my relationship with Mike.